


If one word could describe love it would be your name

by rosehopee



Category: Ackley Bridge
Genre: M/M, and love them, i miss ackley, so soft, they're in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 11:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15907527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosehopee/pseuds/rosehopee
Summary: “it rolled off his lips without a second thought and it was almost like if he could describe love with one word, it would be his name.”aka a cory and naveed are in luv and im in an ackley drought





	If one word could describe love it would be your name

**Author's Note:**

> I hope u all enjoy,,,, sorry it gets lowkey shitty in the end oops  
> also big up the Ackley Bitches, cause ur all my loves, and give me endless support and kindness xo

Cory Wilson was simply drowning. 

 

And maybe it was always coming, maybe that's all he was destined for, because the more he looks back on it, the more he realises that he'd been drowning for longer than he'd realised. Every so often, unbeknown to him, the water would fill up a little more, and his chest would get a little tighter, and his breaths would get a little shorter. But maybe it was only after that night where he realised it because since then his only escape from his demise was gone.  _Him_ , he used to be the one exception, as if just by looking at him he pulled Cory up out of the water and exchanged his working body and mind for cory's faulty one for a while, because 'you need it more than I do', he would say, he would allow him his view of the stars and the sun and the flowers, because ' everyone deserves it' he would say. And now it's all gone. Now, his voice was muffled by the water just like everyone else and Cory couldn't quite see or hear him properly and all his words would be jumbled up because what's the point in them being coherent when they aren't honest. And maybe the more he looks at it, maybe he wasn't the exception, after all, maybe he was a cause of it. However, he thinks it stupid to pinpoint his own misfortune on one person, when he was swimming in so much deeper waters than just him. Like how every inch of his home was filled up with nothing, or how as soon as he crossed the border into the vacant house he could hear the deleterious words and the sound of skin scaring skin as he stands and watches bouncing off the walls. So, he closes his eyes, but then he can smell the alcohol on his face and he can feel the vines that tied his feet to the ground every time and shot self-reproach and penance into his bloodstream, and then he was drowning again and the only thing they would let him breathe in were the sounds and the sorrow so he opted to not breathe at all, because he'd learnt that, in this moment, nothing was better than everything. 

He was trapped; if there was an escape it was undisclosed to him. Once in his room, he feared that there were 10 more shadows with hundreds more words and memories added onto his own and his bed owned 7 of them. The bed that he couldn't sleep on anymore because the breeze that let itself in through the window that he had been too distracted to close (or maybe he couldn’t find it in himself to care enough)  tried to imitate another's hands that still stung like nettles all over his body, he was swimming in the sounds of that night, his lips were still imprinted with another's pairs, he was convinced that every single inch of their body that touched his were still touching him once he closed his eyes. Not only that, but every single detail of it replayed behind his eyes in full blasting colour, but not for long enough so he could enjoy it, just long enough for him to feels shamed. He didn't see it fair, how his mind could do such cruel things to him, why it was taunting him with things he knew when could never have, maybe rattlesnakes had made their place upon his heart upon his heart as thorns placed themselves on his skin, but he always thought his mind would be an ally. He wasn’t sure exactly when it turned on him, maybe the first sings were the thoughts of him that somehow enter their way through the gaps in his mind, he’d claim to himself that his eyes would only light up in his dreams, but he was fully conscious every time those decisions that night. Or maybe it was when his self-control started dissolving into mere seconds between a yes and a no, every single time he asked for something not even a thought would begin to cross Cory's mind before a yes was slipping out of his mouth and before he knew it he was following after him like he was his fucking lifeline. Or perhaps it was the first time it had allowed him to look at another boy and see more, want more, or maybe it was the thoughts of doubt and horror and shame that he felt afterwards, or the first time he was scared to walk into his own house and see his own father.  

Or maybe it was just fucking everything, 

And maybe he wishes, god, he just fucking wishes that it could be nothing, that he could feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, be nothing. Just sit in silence at peace, surrounded by seas and seas of freedom, and skies of absolutely fucking nothing. 

The things he can never have, he always wants, they always linger their touch for a little longer, they do it on purpose, he thinks, just to tease him of everything everyone else could have. Cause Cory fucking Wilson could never do more, he almost regrets all the years he spent building up his name, his reputation as who he was, because it was something to hide behind, but what happens when he's found, and when he's so fucking sick of hiding. Cory, I'm Not Gay, Wilson, and he wonders if that stays in his mind as much as it stays in Cory’s.  

But he's not gay, though. That’s maybe the only thing he ever has known. 

However, that doesn't quite explain why he was sitting in a full, working biology class full of year 12’s (and attractive girls), his eyes are firmly locked onto his best friend that was sat next to him, intently staring into the page of words in front of him, something Cory seemed to be having trouble doing lately. He noticed the way he’d tap his pen on the table, and he had the rhythm memorized in his head so much that he felt like humming it out every time he did it, and how a frown would place itself on his face and his eyebrows would furrow whenever he came across something that confused him, only to be followed with a slight gleam of pride in his eye's moments later. But he certainly wasn't focusing on the way the sun lied right behind him, creating a plethora of light around him as if he was a real-life angel, and making the tips of his dark hair seem brown, and he would never stare at the golden speck of yellow and green that would usually blend in, be dragged out from the sun. 

“Cory? Cory, man, come on.”  

God, he hated it, couldn’t stand it, when he spoke, especially not to him, especially like that; like the words were caramel and they were melting off his tongue, like he was inside Cory’s head, like he was speaking to him, an only ever him, like the tone of his voice the words laced with things he can never quite pick up on were reserved for him only . And the way he said his name had every single one of his heartstrings tied up. He spoke it into the air almost as a secret, almost as if there was so much more than just his name to say as if he saw more because maybe he did. 

“nav?” 

No, he hated that even more. Hated how he said  _his_  name, the desperation was practically dripping from his words, he just knew he had that light pink blue on his cheeks that he couldn’t control and that look in his eyes that looked as if his blood had turned to gold, flowing and the rattlesnakes had given his heart a rest, and maybe he was feeling everything or nothing, or maybe he didn't care. It came off his lips without a second thought and sounded like if he could describe love with one word, it would be his name. It sounded like his name was a synonym for everything that he felt when he was near. 

“I asked if you're coming to my comedy show tonight? Riz, Nas and Missy are coming?” 

And he sounded so hopeful, so fucking hopeful, his eyes flicked around Cory’s face like he was asking a shameful question, and his eyes flickered with anxiety. The reason why Cory hasn't the smallest clue because he’d follow him anywhere, Naveed should know that. 

“Of course, man. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Because it's obvious, and because he wouldn’t, he really fucking wouldn’t.  

They catch eyes for a second, and Cory feels himself unravelling when Nav shoots him one of the smiles that make his eyes crinkle. 

“Party at mine afterwards?? Parents are out at my grandma's for the weekend. Yous down?” 

Cory deflates, he knows Riz means well, and that he could never read Cory’s mid or see through the both of them to know what went on at the last party they attended together, but the foggy cloud still sits still in his brain and he can feel his stomach tighten second by second.  

But, of course, Naveed says ‘yeah, sound like great fun mate’, and of course, Cory Wilson being completely and utterly whipped, he doesn’t hesitate before also spitting it an agreement laced with fake excitement.  

Because he’d follow him to the moon and back, and he’d do everything and nothing to look into his eyes that close again, and feel his breath on his face, and to feel everything and nothing and gold, flowing. 

And the sane part of him still runs heavy telling him it's not fair, and that he’s being selfish and ridiculous, but what is he supposed to do now, he can practically feel the sting of his touch and he can taste his lips on his. How is he supposed to give up the one thing he could maybe once have, it doesn’t matter that it has to be deep in the dark and alcohol induced, he can have it, and that alone is intoxication enough to ignore the feeling that he's sinking further and further underwater with each fucking breath. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! I think i will carry this on,,, just not sure how fast updates will be.  
> Also sorry if its shitty,,,, just sorta wanted to write something tbh.  
> lots of love x  
> (also follow me on twitter @octobernightt k bye luv u )


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